


Learn To Forgive

by MsImpala85



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 09:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsImpala85/pseuds/MsImpala85
Summary: Crowley and y/n fell in love with each other and when the brothers find out she's kicked to the curb but when Crowley dies in the other world she's left alone to fend for herself. When Cas finds her she's in rough shape and brings her back to the place of her heartbreak.





	Learn To Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> This took a lot of work and time to write along with a lot tears but I hope I did the storyline justice!

The day I left the boys for Crowley they were angry, angry enough to say they didn’t want to see me ever again. I understood, I was heartbroken that they would give me an ultimatum, but I was never welcomed there, so I guess they were looking for any reason to get me out of their lives. For 18 months, we were happy. Until the Winchesters called, that was the last time he would kiss me, last time he would hold me. It wasn’t until two weeks later I had found out I was pregnant and now that the whole demon world knew I had a price on my head.  
If I prayed to Cas that would only bring more demons on my trail, so I hid. I found an old hide out Bobby had only told me about before he had died. So, this was my home, it was in horrible condition, the roof leaked the walls were as thin as tissue paper, but I didn’t really have a choice. I kept wondering when I would be found since Asmadeous was putting the word out there to capture me, alive. I wouldn’t let that happen, he would not get my child.   
Winter had finally come though, and I was barely staying warm along with not a lot of food either. The sun had just gone down, and I was in a sleeping bag trying to stay warm with the small fire burning in front of me. I heard a sound of wings and immediately grabbed my angel blade, ready to fight off whatever had come calling. I was met though with a pair of blue eyes and a face filled with sadness and worry. “It’s ok y/n, your safe.” I dropped the blade and ran straight into his arms sobbing into his neck.   
“Let me take you back to the bunker, this is not a safe place for either of you.” I pulled away enough to get out of his grasp. “I’m not welcomed there remember? The boys found their reason to kick me out and that’s what they did.” I saw the tears fill his eyes and he nodded slightly. “At least let me take you to a hotel, get you warm and fed.” I sighed but agreed, I grabbed my duffle and hung on to his to coat as he transported us to what I thought was a hotel. Instead I ended up in the place I didn’t want to be, the bunker.  
“Damn it Cas, I trusted you!” I screamed then turned trying to get out of this place. I made it to the map room unnoticed until I got to the stairs. That’s when both boys along with Cas, had found me on the stairs. “Sweetheart, please stay. I know we were assholes, but we want to make it up with you.” I turned my back on them and headed up the stair way until a hand found my arm. I turned to see green eyes bloodshot, but I didn’t care. I tried to slap him but with his hunter reflexes he was able to stop me.   
“Just stop a minute! Go get a shower and a hot meal then we’ll talk ok?” I didn’t answer him, he didn’t deserve an answer. “Please?” he asked quietly. I yanked my arm away went down the stairs ignoring all three men and headed to my old room then slamming the door. I quickly looked through the drawers to find anything I could have left here. I found a shirt and a pair of boxers and I broke down finally mourning the loss of the man I loved.  
I sat down into the corner of the room just holding the two items of clothing. I didn’t register the door opening or Dean standing in front of me. He knelt down in front of me and touching the side of my face. “I’ll run you bath then you can come out and talk. Okay?” He just watched me closely seeing a person he loved dearly broken and the fight gone from my eyes. “Will you stay?” I asked quietly hoping he would be my rock. He just smiled then kissing me on the forehead.   
He started the bath water then adding in some bath salts. He helped me out of my clothes then sat down next to the tub handing me soap and shampoo. Through the whole bath he tried desperately to get me to talk but I was still mourning, still feeling that huge hole that Crowley had left and that they had left. He helped me out of the tub and dried me off watching my six-month bump watching the movements of the baby inside my belly. He kissed me on the cheek and left me to get dressed and so he knew I was safe and sound.   
I slipped the shirt on along with the boxers smelling Crowley’s cologne, a faint smile appearing. As I started to walk out I noticed a pair of sweatpants on the bed that I knew belonged to Dean. I was still doubtful about all of this, but I put them on anyway needing some sort of cover. I couldn’t walk out there the way I was. I cautiously made my way to the kitchen to smell food actual home cooked food, nothing from the gas station or from the trash.   
I peaked my head around the corner to see Sam at the on his laptop Cas talking to a young boy who was smiling widely, and Dean was at the stove. “Hey sweetheart come on in and sit down, dinner is almost ready.” I sat across from Sam still feeling lost and getting lost in my own thoughts, until there was a plate sat in front of me. There was a steak on the plate with a baked potato and steamed veggies knowing that was Sam adding his rabbit food.   
He sat down next to me with a plate of his own and started eating along with Sam, talking about an upcoming case. I had to admit the food was amazing and I could feel myself feeling better for sure. There was still a talk though that had to be had and as we ate in silence I started to stress about what was going to be said. What I didn’t know was I was going into a panic attack until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me instructing me to breathe.   
Once I was able to settle down I noticed all three men watching with deep concern. “Just tell me why!? Why would you put me through that?” Not sure why I wanted to know but I guess I was a glutton for punishment. “Because we’re assholes, Crowley was supposed to be an enemy and seeing you happy with him just hit a nerve, but we shouldn’t have done that to you ever and I promise we will make it up to you.” Dean stood up with me bridal style and carried me to his room. He gently placed me on the mattress and I moaned at the memory foam easing my back pain.  
“I have to ask is the baby…” “It’s human.” “Sweetheart have you had any doctor appointments or checkups?” I shook my head with tears filling my eyes. “Wait right here.” Before I could get a word in edge wise he was out of the door but quickly returned with Cas in tow. “I’m here to check on the baby if that’s ok. At least that what Dean asks.” “Please Cas?” He sat down in front of me placing his hands on my bump then smiling widely. “They’re perfectly healthy and very content.”   
“Wait, they?” “Yes, you are having twins, a boy and a girl.” My hand went over my mouth as the sobs filled my body. Dean patted him on the back reassuring him that he did nothing wrong it was just hormones. “Sweetheart? You ok?” I shook my head then wrapping my arms around his neck. “Dean I can’t do this on my own. I can’t take care of twins on my own?” He grabbed my wrists pulling them down to reveal my splotchy face.  
“You are not alone in this, I promise you have me, Sam, Cas, and even Jack. I know it’ll be a struggle at first, but I promise we’ll be there for everything.” “ok, I like the sound of that.” He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. “Tomorrow we’ll get prenatal vitamins and find a doctor to go see.” I vehemently shook my head. “No doctors, we need to find a midwife. Do you any hunters that are midwives?” I asked jokingly. “Yes, I do, give me a minute.”   
Dean Point of View  
A few hunts ago we had run into a midwife who was also a hunter, so she was the only one I could trust fully. I called Dakota and she was happy to help so I gave her directions and she said she would be here in a couple days. I walked back in to see y/n in tears once again and cursed myself for ever putting her in that place. I always promised I would protect her and what I did was the complete opposite.  
“Hey sweetheart, I called a friend of mine. She was a midwife before she was a hunter so she’s trustworthy.” She smiled, finally a full-on relieved smile.  
Reader Point of View  
It was three days later when Dean’s friend had come to see me and from what I saw they were very close. “Hi Y/n, I’m Dakota.” “Hi.” We shook hands and she could see I was terrified, and she could understand. I had a price on my head and had no trust in anyone other than the brothers and their angel. She followed me to Dean’s room where she took my blood pressure, took my pulse and did the usual tests. “I’m really concerned about your blood pressure, you’re going to have to stay off your feet and not be so stressed.”   
There was a knock on the door then Dean walking in with a laptop and few other things. I asked Dean and he happily sat down next to me as Dakota prepared everything. “Ok let’s take a look at the twins, although I’m sure your angel already looked but I want you to see your twins.” She squirted the gel then moved the wand and there it was. I heard the heartbeats, and I cried, sad that Crowley wasn’t here to see this. Dean went to grab me something to drink while she sent me the pictures.  
“I know the situation, but that guy out there will do anything for you, let him take care of you ok? You know he’ll get his way.” I started giggling and nodded. “Yeah he can very convincing.” I squeezed her hand. “Thank you for coming, knowing how many enemies Crowley had I don’t have a lot of trust.” She hugged me tightly and I could tell I could trust her. “I promise you’re in good hands.” Dean came in with a bottle with caffeine free coke and a huge smile.  
While Sam was showing Dakota her room while Dean flitted around the room like a mother hen. “Dean? What’s going on in your head?” “That I should have been there for you when you needed me. You should have never been in that situation.” He sat down in front of me taking my hands in his thumbs rubbing circles on the tops of them. “Let me be here now and take care of you. We’ll pick a room for them and go shopping for anything you need.”  
“I wish I could just wear leggings and your flannels.” “Sweetheart you are more than welcome, after all you do look good in my clothes.” I smiled widely happy that I finally found a place to call home. “I understand that you’re not ready but when you are, I would love to be in your life and the babies.” I could feel the tears fill my eyes again. “I miss him Dean, it’s not fair.” I sobbed out, he just pulled me into his arms rocking me back and forth until I calmed down again.  
“He made me promise, before he did what he did. To take care of you and love you, make sure you have everything in the world.” “That sounds like him.” I said as I sniffled. Just then I felt a kick to my bladder and oofed rubbing the spot. “You ok sweetheart?” “Yeah someone decided to kick.” I said with a smile. I could feel my eyes start to droop exhausted from the day, so Dean didn’t say a word just tucked me into bed then kissing me on the forehead before conking out.  
Dean Point of View  
She was out like a light as I shut the door then heading to the library for a drink. This whole situation was fucked up and we were the ones who did that. I walked in to see Sam and Dakota sitting next to each other drinking beers. “Hey man, how’s she doing?” I just shook my head and went for the stronger stuff. “She’s stressed and mourning Crowley. She asked how she’s supposed to raise these babies on her own and I promised we would be here every step of the way.”  
“She needs you guys more than ever and Dean pull your head out of your ass. I know it’s too soon now but tell her you love her.” My eyes widened, and Sam just smiled. “He didn’t realize it until she was gone and being happy with Crowley. I’m hoping he’ll come to his senses now and take care of her then tell her how he feels.” Sam had a smirk on his face knowing full well he was right. “I promise when the time is right I will confess my undying love.” I said flinging my arms open.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” My head snapped to see y/n standing in the archway with a bottle of water. “Dean I’ve felt that way for so long but when I watched you parade around with woman after woman I gave up. Then Crowley came along, and the rest is history.” I decided now was my chance, so I slowly walked over then grasping her face. I lowered my lips to hers lightly kissing her but feeling her reciprocate it made me smile even more.  
Reader Point of View  
Dean was kissing me, he was actually kissing me. He put his forehead against mine his warm hands linking with mine. “I know it’s too soon but let me love you like I should be.” I wrapped my arms around his waist holding on tightly not wanting to ever let go. “Let’s get you to bed ok?” I gave him a small nod them bid Sam and Dakota goodnight. He was taking me to my room when I stopped, I couldn’t sleep another night alone. I could feel the tears build and the look of concern fill his features.  
“Don’t make me sleep alone, please?” He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. “I’m sorry sweetheart, do you wanna sleep with me tonight?” I gave him a short nod again and pulled me behind him to his room. While he got undressed, I got in under the covers and moaned, the memory foam felt amazing. Dean got in then pulling me into his arms where I fell asleep quickly content to have him next to me. I slowly woke up to find the bed empty next to me but before I could venture out Dean was coming into the room, a tray full of food.  
“Hey sweetheart, thought we could have breakfast then do some shopping. I already picked out a room right across the hall.” I smiled and nodded. “That sounds amazing.” He kissed my forehead and ordered me to eat up, we had a lot to do today. After breakfast we got ready then deciding to invite Sam and Dakota to join along for some fresh air. Dean must have done his research since we were at a mega mall with every store imaginable. “Ok first is clothes for mama and babies.” “Dean I told you I was fine with wearing leggings and flannels.”   
“Maybe I want to take you out a few times, and a couple of places aren’t going to accept those items.” I must have blushed deeply due to the deep chuckle he gave. While Sam and Dakota went off on their own we stopped by the maternity store first and dropped almost a grand on shirts, jeans, dresses and a few pairs of leggings for home. Next, we found a children’s store that was huge, and of course we found some pretty cool stuff. We ended up dropping more money there, but we had enough to last us for a while and of course with twins it was going to cost more.

We met Sam and Dakota at the food court which always made me happy, the pregnancy cravings were pointing me towards Chinese so that’s what I got. Of course, Dean went with A&W for cheese curds and a burger. Sam and Dakota decided on some vegan place that was new which made me pick on them. They would just roll their eyes then make goo goo eyes at each other again. After lunch we had one more stop but with the trunk full, we decided on a U-Haul to get the furniture home. The first stop was cribs and right away I saw a beautiful dark mahogany set and order two, knowing that was what I wanted.  
Then it was strollers, then we had to have a rocking chair, then a few little trinkets to decorate the room. I decided on a light gray to paint the walls then have a few personal touches for both of them, so they had something just for them. Next, we picked up sheets and blankets, then found more onesies and cute outfits for both of them. It was the tutu that me squeal with joy and of course the moose onesie with the blue jeans for little man.   
After an exhausting day we finally headed home and since we had an hour drive, I laid against the door trying to get comfortable. “Why don’t you use my leg for a pillow? You can’t be comfortable.” I smiled tiredly, then laying down and placing my head on his thigh. He began to run his fingers through my hair and I was a goner. I was being lifted like I weighed nothing and right now I didn’t care, I just snuggled into Dean and fell back asleep.   
I woke up a few hours later changed into leggings and one of Dean’s flannels, tucked into the couch in the library. I stretched and sighed then seeing Dean sitting at the table with Sam looking over a stack of books. “Found a hunt huh?” “I’m sorry sweetheart, we would call someone else in but it’s demons looking for you. We gotta nip this now.” My hand flew over my mouth feeling guilty for bringing the boys into this mess.   
I turned to walk out of the room when a pair of arms wrapped around me. “It’s not your fault sweetheart, it’s those black-eyed bastards trying to make your life a living hell.” He kissed me sweetly then smiled at me. “I promise baby, we’ll get the message out that you are an untouchable.” I just groaned and rolled my eyes. “You and that movie.” I giggled out. “Got you to smile didn’t it?” With that he and Sam got everything prepared and with one more kiss they were out the door.   
It was three weeks of waiting and it was driving me insane. I needed my boys home and I needed them now. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, she was worried about Sam and I thought it was cute. I sat down on the couch Sam had put in the library, so I could be around the boys when I needed them. Dakota had left to do some grocery shopping for the day but had banned me from doing too much. I grabbed the quilt off the back and snuggled into the couch letting exhaustion take me.  
I felt a hand running through my hair softly, I cracked open my eyes to see Dean watching me with smile. “Hey sleepy head, Dakota made dinner then we can go to bed. Sound good?” I slowly nodded shaking the fog from my head. He helped me off the couch and the smell of chicken wafted through the whole bunker and I drooled. What I saw when we walked into the kitchen was definitely a miracle. There was fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans. It was a meal that I loved when I was a kid.  
“Eat mama bear, there’s plenty.” I blushed at Dean’s new nickname, but I loved it. Once the food was devoured and we were bordering on food comas. We went to our perspective rooms and I just smiled seeing Dakota sneak into Sam’s room. I walked into our room and noticed Dean searching for his pjs, but he had a slight odor, so I was going to take care of that. “You need a shower dude.” He whined like a kid, but I just went into mom mode. I grabbed two towels and pjs for me, then pulling him behind me to the shower room.  
“Strip.” While he undressed, I heated up the water to nearly scalding and once I turned, I blushed. I hadn’t seen Dean naked yet, but it was bound to happen eventually. I stripped slowly until I was naked as well. I shoved him under the water and grabbed the shampoo to lather his hair, he closed his eyes greatly enjoying the pampering. I rinsed his hair then went to the body wash, grabbing the washcloth I scrubbed gently, and I watched as he was ready to fall asleep and I just giggled.  
I gently pulled him and switched places needing to do the same routine, but Dean jumped right in taking the same meticulous care I showed him. “You know sweetheart, I could get use to this amount of loving.” I kissed him sweetly then just wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m already use to the treatment already babe.” He chuckled and just playfully kissed me then dragged me out. He wrapped a towel around me, but it didn’t quite go around due to my belly sticking out.   
Once we were safely back in our room, I was about to slide my leggings on when Dean pulled me between his legs. “You need a back-rub honey, I know you’re hurting.” He grabbed my lotion and slowly rubbed it into my back and I groaned at how he was hitting every spot I ever wanted. He got down to my lower back and I just gripped his thighs moaning at how good it felt. He kissed the side of my head as I melted into his arms. “That good huh?” I giggled and nodded. “You are better than magic fingers.” He gave me that hearty laugh and I just relaxed more.   
He grabbed me his maroon flannel I had taken to wearing constantly, and as I slipped it on, I discovered the baby bump had gotten big enough it wouldn’t get around. He just handed me his zeppelin shirt and I just smiled and slipped that on. We got into bed and I maneuvered around him getting comfortable. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly wrapped in the arms of the man I loved.   
Time Skip  
Spring was finally here, and everything was ready for the babies. The nursery was painted, the cribs were built and together. The room was picked, and Dakota had the paperwork ready for the birth certificates, now it was waiting for the twins. I was a week overdue, but Rowena had settled my nerves that Fergus was a late baby as well. When Rowena had found out I was having her grandbabies she was in overprotective mode. I knew she was going to be a grandma, I found her a couple times missing her son that she regretted the way things had gone.  
I guaranteed that Crowley had no ill will towards her and guaranteed that she would be in the babies life for sure. I had confided in her the names that I had picked out for the babies and she just cried again, proud that I was giving strong Scottish names. Rowena had threatened Dean that if he had ever hurt me there would torture worse than hell and he promised repeatedly that that was not going to happen. We had just finished dinner when we had decided to go for a walk, Mary, finally back from the other world with Jack, had happily joined us.   
She was excited as well, saying she was ready to be a grandma and reassured me that these babies were Winchesters through and through. The sun was low in the sky and the air was perfect, Dean had an arm around my waist, mine was around his as well. We just talked and laughed loving the beautiful weather we had. By the time we got back I was feeling an uncomfortable feeling in my back, but it wasn’t serious, so I just played it off. I sat down in a library chair and that’s when I knew it was serious.  
I felt water in my pants and looked down, I knew my water had broken then. “Uhm Dakota, it’s showtime.” Nothing else had to be said, she helped me into the room and while Dean grabbed the towels and medical supplies needed, she had me settled with Deans flannel hanging on my shoulders. Dean came back into the room in just sweats, then getting behind me for support. “Would you like anyone else y/n? Maybe Rowena or Mary.” I shook my head, but they understood, I just needed Dean.  
She slipped on a glove and checked to see how far I was and surprisingly I was four centimeters already. “Bring Rowena in for a moment please?” She squeezed my knee and went out to retrieve Rowena for a moment. “I hear a wee prince and princess are coming!” I giggled at her excitement, and she just kissed me on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you darlin’ and I promise Fergus is proud too. I’m gonna join the others but just know dearie there’s a lot of love waiting for those darlings.”   
After that it was just Dean and I, he helped me through the contractions whispering sweet words in my ear. Dakota had come in for a check and declared it was time, the next contraction I started pushing then Sam had brought the warm towels in ready to receive the babies. Dean had moved to my side ready to grab the babies. A pressure lessoned, and a sharp cry filled the room, then a beautiful little body was put on my chest. “There’s baby boy.” Dean wrapped him in a warm towel holding him to his bare chest. The next contraction came on and it was more pushing, the pressure released, and it was another cry.  
“Baby girl is here.” She placed her on my chest with the warm towel and after getting rid of the after-birth Dakota cleaned me up then putting a pair of panties on me and getting me comfortable in bed. She showed me how to feed them then leaving us be for a bit, the babies got fed and were happily snuggled onto my chest. “You were amazing baby, their beautiful honey.” He took the boy into his arms and he just cracked open his eyes watching Dean with wonderment. “Let’s get them dressed then everyone can meet them.” He kissed me sweetly and then felt something funny on my finger, I looked to see a beautiful engagement ring.   
“Will you marry me? Let me love you and these two beautiful babies.” I nodded and kissed him. “Yes Dean, I will marry you.” We sat there for a few minutes basking in the beautiful bubble that was created. Once there were wrapped tightly in their blankets and happily full Sam came in smiling. “I hear I have a niece and nephew to meet.” He kissed me on the cheek and sat next to me. “Uncle Sammy, I want you to meet Mckenna Greer and Bowie Reid.”   
He held Kenna first and fell in love instantly, but Bowie, man they were going to best buds I could see it already. When Rowena held Bowie for the first time she cried, then she had both babies in her arms absolutely in love. When Mary came in, she was just as in love as Rowena was, of course she cried too, happy to feel all that love that babies brought. It was our turn now for baby snuggles, Dean had Kenna in his arms absolutely smitten with her daddy. Bowie was gonna be a momma’s boy for sure, he put up a fit if he wasn’t in my arms and that was ok with that.   
The months passed by and I could see some of Fergus’s features coming through on Bowie, but Kenna was all me. It was early fall when Dean and I got married, it was a small ceremony and Cas had officiated. I wore a simple blush colored gown and Dean wore his blue fed suit, the one that made me drool every time when I saw him in it. There were tears of course and when Dean kissed me as my husband, he put that last piece back into place.  
It was the twins first Christmas, and we went all out. Sam and Dakota were now engaged, they were so happy, and I couldn’t wait to see what their future held. Dakota had taken me under her wing and started training to help with deliveries for when her and Sam decided to start trying for a family. The twins were in their play pen, which was a blow-up kiddie pool, thank you Pinterest.   
The last thing was the star and that was Dean’s job. He had just walked in with two mugs of hot chocolate and as always, the payment was a kiss. He placed the star on top of the tree the tree was complete. The tree was beautiful but simple and when we showed them the tree they giggled and grasped the branches. Sam and Dakota had come in ready for Christmas movies and snuggles. As the movie played in the background Sam and Dean were arguing about superhero’s. Dakota and I were on the floor with the twins blowing raspberries and kissing them all over making them laugh and giggle.   
“Did you give it to him yet?” I just shook my head then she elbowed me and encouraged me to do it. I grabbed the box hidden in the tree and handed it to Dean. “Merry Christmas babe.” I sat next to him as he opened the gift to reveal a picture frame with a sonogram and three pregnancy tests. “I’m twelve weeks by the way.” He yanked me into his lap as I squealed and just kissed me all over my face and I just smiled. “I take it your happy.” “The happiest I could ever be. I love you sweetheart, forever and always.”  
“Thank Chuck for that.” With one final kiss we watched the movie snuggled with the twins feeling happy and blessed.


End file.
